Oh yes. I must be doing Tumblr all wrong >.<
She was my absolute best friend. The only person i truly talked to.. Since the last person I trusted proved to be untrustworthy. Told her everything.. And she was so much like me. Never met anyone who had been through as much shit as me, but was still keeping it all together. I don’t know what happened. Guess it was me, moving away and shit.. But I always thought we’d still stay in touch somehow… Guess, I was wrong. But it sucks now that I see her talking to everyone but me. Hate seeing her breaking apart knowing I can’t help her any longer. I mean, I have “best friends”. But.. I keep so much from them. And in reality, they aren’t my “best friends”, when I really only have one. But I’m afraid I’m no longer hers.. Well fuck itt. I miss her. That would be all.. :/
So, I don’t understand what I did wrong. One minute he’s my best friend, then the next he won’t even talk to me.. I don’t remember being this depressed.. I mean, the worst part, is that once again, i did nothing wrong. I did nothing to make him want to ignore me.. Now he avoids me like the plague. Why are men so.. Bipolar? Weird? I mean I’m not saying women aren’t any better but still… Ugh… Is it such a crime to want to be friends again? :/
I swear, men these days.. Are you guys afraid to take a stand? You don’t have to do everything under the sun for a girl you love. And you sure as hell shouldn’t have to be miserable to make her happy. Relationships these days are based strictly on either the girl or the boy and its so gross because it should be equaled out you know? A boy should give up somethings for the girl and the girl should give up things for a boy, but instead, its either one or the other…. this is why relationships don’t last long anymore, that and DRAMA. God i hate drama.
If your whole relationship is built on lies, then it’s not going to last, seriously. Soon, the lies will come out, every lie will come back on you. And then the thing you worked so hard on is gone, all because you refused to be honest in the first place. So why lie? Karma’s a bitch, and even if those lies don’t come back to haunt you right away, they will haunt you 10 or 5 years down the road, and you’ll be left with nothing. Moral of this post? Don’t base your relationship on lies. They never work out.
You’re making it impossible for me to move on.. How could I move on? You are everything I want and more.. everything that isn’t mine… But sometimes I feel strong enough to move on. Sometimes I feel like I can leave you behind, but then you jump right back into my life… What am I going to do… :( </3 #Heartbroken…
Unrequited Love
I hate this feeling. This feeling of my heart ripping in two. I hate thinking about you. I hate how you wont stay out of my mind.. every time my mind wonders, you are the person it goes to. I get a new text message, and my first thought is, God, i hope its you..I can pick you out in a huge crowd.. I remember how you were the first real face I saw last night. And every time i see your face its like seeing you for the first time. I can always feel the blood rushing to my face, i can feel my heart beating faster, and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach. The worst of it though, is I don’t know rather to let you go, or keep trying.. They say never give up on someone you never go a day without thinking, and i think about you all the time.. so what do I do? This is killing me :(
So this is so screwed up.. these emotions.. this pain, this hurt.. And on top of it all, its because of a boy? They teach you when your young not to let a boy break your heart. They tell you how they are not worth it. But did they ever teach us how hard we could fall for one? Did they teach us how much it hurts when one doesn’t feel the same? I never thought I would let a guy get to me, but here I am, allowing it.
People also say that a guy isn’t worth your tears, and that the one who is won’t make you cry, but how could anyone believe that? The harder you fall for someone, the harder it iss to get over the painfull sting they leave on your heart.
I wish I would have never fallen in love. Sometimes though, I believe that love is not an emotion, more a speck of hope, that will never become true. Maybe I’m wrong though. I’ve been wrong about everything lately. The one thing I’m not wrong about is how much pain I’ve been in the last few months.
I though he was the best guy in the world. He was everything I was looking for. Manners, a future, a good head on his shoulders.. And is it bad that I still think the best of this guy? He has the most intense blue eyes, but yet they were so full of something I couldn’t figure out. His emotions bounced around those blue circles, but he probably never knew how much I payed attention. And that smile of his? It truly took my breath away. Just seeing his face brightened my day, not to mention put thousands of butterflies in the pit of my stomach.
He was the type of guy I never saw my self talking to, but I got up the guts to say hey. And again I was rewarded with that breathtaking smile of his. A smile I miss so much.. And we had chemistry. It was obvious how fast we clicked. So where did I go wrong?
They say love is blind, and maybe that’s what happened. Perhaps I did nothing wrong. Perhaps it wasn’t me at all, but what he thought he had. He thinks he’s already in love. And this fact broke my heart into a million pieces.
So the only Thing I learned after all this was how to keep up my composure in front of him and everyone else, and I still haven’t perfected that. they say give it time, that time will ease the pain, I think time just numbs the pain down till its manageable.. even then it still hurts..
